10/07/25: A Conclusion, A Farewell to Blogging (for now), and a Nod to My Favorite Childhood Film

While I'm not full on Pinocchio-ing in my ascension to becoming a cognizant writer, I do believe that I have developed substantially. I'm no longer an awkward little wooden figure, but I wouldn't classify myself as "full on real boy" yet. Part of that is because I'm only newly re-entering this atmosphere, and another part is that I'm convinced, in every single thing that I do, there's always an opportunity to learn more. But, for now, I'm as real as I can get, and I'll take that.

While the free write in class caused me to consider how I've developed over the years, as I write this blog I have had to consider how I've evolved over the 7 weeks of me keeping a journal and I have to say, there were significant changes. Firstly, I started actually outlining things rather than just hopping from one paragraph to the next, hoping for some sort of continuity. Secondly, I took editing a lot more seriously, in that I would write to my hearts content on the subjects outlined, but then give myself space and time to come back and reconsider what I wrote. Thirdly, I learned a great deal about my growth as a writer from even my first attempt at college to where I am now. I am more patient, more understanding, and more confident in what it is I am trying to convey. I don't shy away from hard topics or difficult conversations because I know where I'm coming from as a human, a benefit of being alive for 38 years and having experienced all of the things I have. Finally, I feel like that I have a pretty distinct voice that I don't need to hide behind. It's okay if I operate outside of convention, it's okay if I write a little differently than the expectations I thought academia would thrust upon me. I have learned so much about why I shouldn't hide myself away that I may just become unbearable in the near future (kidding [I hope]).

In our free write for class we were asked to discuss what about our writing process works for us, if we're satisfied or dissatisfied with it, and if there's anything we would change. 

10/07/2025

Free Write in Literary Composition class:

I think my writing process works very well for me, I have also picked up some things along the way that have enhanced it for sure. I tend to just write, not quite in a stream of consciousness manner, but within the structure of what I'm trying to say I focus on just getting my thoughts onto the page, and then from there I can edit down after the fact. Obviously, depending on what it is I’m doing, I may focus more on “each lead sentence of the paragraph needs to have a declarative statement of some sort” and then I will go from there. Typically I do start with an idea of what I want to do and will include that in my introduction, although I have learned that in the past where I would take the square peg, round hole, approach and try to cram something in there, I am now able to say “well, that’s not gonna work” or “I don’t think that is true now that I’m really writing about it” so I will simply change my approach. My adaptability has become my greatest asset in writing, where I am not so hardnosed as to believe that I am absolutely correct in my initial assertions: as I gain more information, if my insights change, then they change, and that’s a good thing. Learning new things and adapting to them is actually a benefit and I’m glad I have been able to recognize that in my writing, as it’s something I recognized in my life quite a while ago. 

I’m not sure if there’s anything I would change about my writing process, maybe the largest thing is how, every now and then, I can get hyper focused on certain sentences or my interpretations of things and it will cause the process to slow down significantly. Although, as I mentioned, I have gotten better about getting thoughts down on the page and then going back after to address anything I feel I may have missed or that doesn’t make sense. Editing was something I used to do kind of on the fly, so it’s been a big change to take this new step where I actually separate myself from what I’m writing for a period of time, and then go back to reassess what it is I was trying to accomplish.

Analysis/Reflection:

When reflecting on my process I thought about how it’s developed so much over my time as a teenager, where I would just write on a pad with a pen in my bed, to how it’s also remained the same in some ways: I’ve spent a lot of this time sitting on my bed, with a laptop, writing at late hours, considering I don’t really have anywhere else to sit (privately) in my current living situation. My process has also developed so much over the course of even just my 7 weeks back in school, where I was convinced I needed silence to be able to really focus and write. I've adapted to doing it in coffee shops, in Dyson, in the basement of Lowell Thomas while classes are changing over, to writing in my basement bedroom while my cohabitants are upstairs talking, walking around, watching TV, or whatever. What I’ve realized is that my having headphones in is an important part of me navigating these spaces, because there it feels like I can at least control, to some capacity, what the primary source of noise is. Why that’s important, I’m sure there’s some psychological reasoning for, but that’s beyond me at the moment.

Theory Application:

The ending of Peter Elbow's “Closing My Eyes as I Speak: An Argument for Ignoring Audience,” contains a list of "Practical Guidelines About Audience" (Elbow 66), his second point being the most relevant to this analysis and reflection, as well as my overall development as a writer during this time. He says "When working on important audience-directed writing, we must try to emphasize audience awareness sometimes. A useful rule of thumb is to start by putting the readers in mind and carry on as long as things go well. If difficulties arise, try putting readers out of mind and write either to no audience, to self, or to an inviting audience. Finally, always revise with readers in mind" (Elbow 66). This is the lesson I have employed the most in my more recent attempts at writing and the one I've found the most helpful. I may have been doing so without even being fully cognizant of the fact that this is what I was relying upon, but in my free write it's pretty obvious that I am comfortable with getting what I need to get onto the page by whatever means necessary, and then going back after the fact and considering the relevance of it all. This was not the methodology I employed for most of my life, where I was consistently interrupting my writing to edit or verify that something made sense, rather than letting the information help dictate where I was going to be headed, and then bringing it all together after the fact.

Here's a farewell selfie of me in my office down in Richmond, Virginia with my assistant Mable, who was an excellent source of moral support during me wrapping up my midterm assignments. 

Elbow, Peter. “Closing my eyes as I speak: An argument for ignoring audience.” College English, vol. 49, no. 1, 1 Jan. 1987, pp. 50–69, https://doi.org/10.58680/ce198711506.

Pinocchio GIF (https://trailers.getyarn.io/yarn-clip/embed-test/dc09920f-90cd-4144-9c78-63f1bce26533)

09/30/2025: They Don't Assign Actual Books in College Anymore

I posted these blue-light glasses earlier along with everything else I employ during my writing process, but in my free write I discuss them a little more in depth. I never wore glasses before so it's a whole new thing to me. The first few days of having them I'd forget to put them on pretty frequently until I realized that I felt myself squinting or if I started to getting a headache. Again, I am no scientist, so who knows what validity there is to their existence, but, they have become a part of my writing process and, realistically, I feel like I'm a little more prepared to write when I have them on as opposed to not. 

Our prompt for the free write in class was to consider what tools we employ while writing, have we tried any new ones, and if there was anything we left out of previous free writes while discussing these things.

09/30/2025

Free Write in Literary Composition Class:

The tools/technology I employ while writing, these days, is a computer and headphones. Typically I employ these things because a lot of my writing is happening in a public space. However, over time I have become used to the “background” noise of music playing in my headphones so there are many times where, even if I’m alone, I will still have my headphones in. Previously I did a LOT of writing with a pen and notebook (I still do to jot down various notes, etc., but not to full on write per se) but have found than when I put my headphones in and open up my laptop its almost ritualistic in nature, it’s as if I’m turning on a switch of “okay, now it’s time to start writing.” All that to say, I was more than capable of writing with a pen and a pad in my younger years, it’s how almost all of my writing, whether it was for school, for my band, or for my own personal writing endeavors, unfolded but somewhere along the way I adopted the laptop. Realistically, it was probably college the first time around that did that for me. As far as a part of my writing process that I may have left out or didn’t consider beforehand, I can’t say for certain. I feel as if I’ve acknowledged my use of headphones and laptop, although I will say I never really considered how ritualistic it started to feel and how, as aforementioned, it really does feel like I’m flipping a switch into “writing” mode when I do these things. After writing all that I also realized I forgot to mention I employ “blue light” glasses because I was getting headaches. In short bursts of using my laptop I don’t really employ them, but when I know that I’m going to sit and write for a prolonged period, they go on, which even then is as if I’m telling myself “alright, we’re here to do some work for the long haul,” which is just a perpetuation of that ritualistic experience I’m describing. I think the only other part that may be worth considering is a more intangible “vibe” that I need to have for certain things, while I can sit down and start writing about anything when my brain decides its a necessity, I need to be in a particular frame of mind to really call upon my more creative side, and that’s typically emboldened or inspired by movies/literature, typically if it evokes a sense of nostalgia or if I have some sort of nostalgia attached to it. On the other side of things, for my more politically motivated writing it’s typically derived from a sense of anger as a reaction in some capacity. At times where it was necessary to write more politically charged literature I would refer back to certain instances, videos, pictures, words, that prompted me to feel some kind of way and use that as a method of recalling what I wanted to say then but translating it into a current, maybe less emotionally charged, form.

Analysis/Reflection:

Considering this in class writing was me dissecting my writing process, not a whole lot for me to comment on there as far as the development of it over the last few weeks except to say there have been noticeable changes and I find myself being more comfortable with sitting down and writing where at first it felt, like most things after a prolonged break, a bit awkward.

Theory Application:

While theory wasn't discussed during the free write, I can speak a bit more to how, at this point, I had been back in school for a month. I've mentioned in other posts how I had gotten more comfortable with free writes and the idea that I could stretch my writing muscles without constraints or concerns about approach. This had started to extend itself into my more 'formal' academic writing as well. Outside of my Literary Composition class I had also been to the Writing Center on multiple occasions by this point. This all brings me to Donald M. Murray's point in “Teach Writing as a Process Not Product,” where he asks, and then answers, his own question: "What is the process we should teach? It is the process of discovery through language. It is the process of exploration of what we know and what we feel about what we know through language." I was given opportunities, through the free writes in this class, as well as my Edgar Allan Poe Seminar, to really start exploring what I knew, some of which I had maybe forgotten, but even more so, some of which I had recently learned and found to be helpful. I was continuously, week after week, confronting my inadequacies, as well as my strengths, both internally and then externally through consulting my peers and professors. I felt my strength, and confidence, as a writer growing because I was, as Murray states "... using language to learn about our world, to evaluate what we learn about our world, to communicate what we learn about our world."

Murray, Donald M. “Teach Writing as a Process Not Product.” Cross-Talk in Comp

    Theory, 4th ed., National Council of Teachers of English, 2024.

09/23/2025: "Stuck Between Stations"

 

No selfie this week (you're welcome), partially because I forgot, partially because I had a lot going on that led to me doing work in weird places. I went to Connecticut to celebrate my Aunt and Uncle's 50th Wedding Anniversary the weekend before this class, and then Friday right after that class I hopped a train down to NYC to meet up with my partner in Brooklyn after having not seen each other for over a month. On the train ride down, and back up, I was working on a variety of things, but most notably an essay for my Travel Writing class assigned by Dr. Graham, and what more appropriate way to do that than on the train? I took this video on my way down to the City.

Our prompt for the free write in class was how we deal with writer's block, and what are some things that we find difficult about writing.

09/23/2025

Free Write in Literary Composition class:

In my experience writer’s block is typically derived from a place of feeling overwhelmed and/or rushed. Even if I’m well ahead of a deadline there are times where I will start to think “but what if I don’t get this started and then I can’t get it done?” An, admittedly, truly wild way of looking at anything in the world, but sometimes brains just brain. Another aspect for me is I find it difficult to move past a sticking point, much like when you were told while taking a test if you don’t know the answer to a question just skip it and then come back later, for some reason when it comes to writing I have a major issue in doing that. I will sit and stick on sentences, either in a text I’m reading/interpreting or on my own sentence for an unnecessarily long period of time. Sometimes something shakes out of it, other times I just say “screw it” and put in, what I consider to be, some sort of low hanging fruit just to keep the process moving. The problem is, I probably should've taken that action like 30 minutes before I actually take it.

As far as the root causes, I can’t say I know for sure, part of it is definitely my ability to procrastinate in the past and how I try incredibly hard to not allow that to happen again. Even then, when I sit down to write I’m so used to having been on a time crunch that when I’m not I can still have those urgent feelings because it’s sort of how I trained myself to operate in those circumstances over the years. One way I get through it is usually by getting up and walking around, or, if it’s a more intense one, just switching locations entirely. If going outside and looking around and not thinking about my current subject matter for a few seconds doesn’t get me where I need to be, I’ll pack my stuff up and go home, if I’m out, or if I’m home and it’s not super late, I will proceed to go to an alternative location where I can sit and write: coffee shop, library, back office at work, whatever. 

One thing I wish was easier for me with writing is understanding how what I’m saying is coming across to other people. There are times I get so caught up in what’s pouring out of my brain that I will just dump it on the page and then go back later to edit it. While I’m editing it I can find that I know what I’m talking about, but getting that across to other people may be difficult. Essentially, I can forget sometimes that other people don’t have all the information that I have.

Analysis/Reflection:

Our most recent reading really had me considering how my writing process looks, as it’s something I haven’t really had to consider for quite some time. Historically if I was writing a lengthy work e-mail (of which, despite being a barber, I’ve sent many), or outlining different processes and programs for the barbershop, how I would outline some things but then find myself veering off in all different directions as a result of the things that were coming out of my brain onto the paper. I’ve been experiencing much of the same thing now that I’m back in school. I have outlined most of the things I want to write, and yet, when it comes time to do the writing I find myself in arenas I never even considered at the start. Part of me felt like I was doing something wrong. But, as it appears in “A Cognitive Process of Writing,” it seems that it is a valid part of the process and a thing that other people experience (maybe even everyone, who knows). As such I’m trying to be a bit more understanding of myself here and the things I’m being tasked with, and not viewing it as a “this is right and this is wrong” process, but rather: This just is the process. I’ve also noticed that now that I’ve really gotten into the swing of writing on what truly feels like a full time basis (hello 4 high level Lit classes) my environment matters less to me, as does what’s playing in my headphones. I’m writing this while sitting in Saxby’s inside Dyson, which is typically a pretty chaotic environment, with my headphones in and Iron Chic (a punk band that I used to tour with) playing and I’m functioning totally fine. I was very strongly convinced there for a while that I needed quiet and that I’d be incapable of focusing otherwise. I’m sure that with lengthier and more heady papers and such that may still be a necessity, but when I’m discussing something I know a lot about (in this case- me, and how I’m acting) I can do that with relative ease almost anywhere.

Theory Application:

While I discuss theories within my analyses, both Elbow's and Murray's theories are more the focal point of this assignment, and I also think they both have points of relation here.

In response to Elbow's ignoring audience, I mention that what I struggle most with writing is that I do that, maybe too well, at times. Granted, Elbow doesn't suggest completely ignoring audience for the entirety of the process, as eventually one does have to consider them, but my larger problem was that I didn't know how to really bring them in after the fact on occasion. Something that would contribute to my writer's block as well, because I didn't even know where to start. One thing that helped me tremendously was visiting the Writing Center at Marist, and the student who helped me, Grace, suggesting that I read my work out loud. I had never considered doing that before. Somehow, once I did, it all started to come together.

In speaking to Murray's "Writing as a Process Not Product," if I had been instructed somewhere along the way on the manner in which I could construct texts I may have been able to break through various periods of writer's block sooner. As aforementioned, even something as simple as a peer suggesting I read my work out loud, while constructing it, by engaging in the process in a, literal, out loud way, I could work through one of my biggest hang ups. This is a testament to how learning the process of writing has only benefitted me along the way.

The title of this post being meta on so many levels it actually makes my brain hurt. "Stuck Between Stations" is the opening track to The Hold Steady's breakout record "Boys and Girls in America." The fact that I was on a train, and obviously, stopping at various stations comes to mind. Fortunately, we did not get stuck. But also the idea that a radio gets stuck between stations (the actual reference the song title is making) much like writer's block has us feeling stuck between stations. Finally, This was a band I discovered during Marist 1.0, before I moved to Brooklyn, and when I eventually moved there, I listened to them religiously. It felt kind of wild to be in my old stomping grounds again while meeting up with my partner. They also make a bunch of literary references in the song. A lot of "full circle" feelings all around.

Elbow, Peter. “Closing my eyes as I speak: An argument for ignoring audience.”

    College English, vol. 49, no. 1, 1 Jan. 1987, pp. 50–69,

    https://doi.org/10.58680/ce198711506.

Murray, Donald M. “Teach Writing as a Process Not Product.” Cross-Talk in

    Comp Theory, 4th ed., National Council of Teachers of English, 2024.

09/16/2025: I Probably Wouldn't Hate Moby Dick That Much if I Tried to Read it Again Today

 

Here I am, Library again, but a different place than usual as it was particularly packed that day. It's also important to note that on Tuesdays it's just easier for me to stay on campus all day, and that's when a lot of these process journal entries and analyses were done, but I was actively going to Norma's, the coffee shop, at least once, if not twice, a week.

Our prompt for this class was to discuss a text I've mentioned previously, “Teach Writing as a Process Not Product,” by Donald M. Murray, as well as Janet Emig's "Writing as a Mode of Learning," as such our typical "Theory Application" section will be omitted, as I discuss these theories within my free write as well as the analyses/reflection.

09/16/2025

Free Write in Literary Composition Class

The idea that one can be educated through writing, as well as their writing being allowed to develop on their own terms as a process rather than just being an ultimate product are both ideas I find have intrinsic value but I can’t fully recall a time where either were employed in my educational history besides maybe a few spare moments I will try to recount here: One thing is if we are writing research papers, etc., it is obvious one must dig deeper into different ideas they may have which does elicit some self-educating on behalf of the piece at hand. As far as my ability to write being developed through me just writing, I think a lot of that, for me, developed outside of the classroom, or if it was inside the classroom it was typically in more “creative” situations, all that to say: I was still operating on deadlines (inside class) so it required me to hurry the process along. Outside of that, there was emphasis only when I really came to college for having drafts done and then reworking those, etc. But when outside the classroom I was able to take my time while writing, and while I didn’t do it nearly as often as I would have liked, I did make it a point to have some finished pieces that, even to this day, I’ll go back and look at and tweak a little here or there as I have learned more, about the subject matter, about how I view the world, about what kind of writer I want to be, along the way. 

This class carries an influence from Murray’s writing as a process through, what is most obviously, the process journals we are asked to produce as well as the multimodal essay we need to submit where we discuss our development as writers over the course of this class. Writing as a way to learn is also being employed because we are being asked to dissect and apply theories to our development which asks us to look inward while we are writing, and after we have written, to learn more about the process, as well as ourselves as writers.

Analysis/Reflection:

Today I have the unfortunate disposition of writing this from a corner of the library that is pretty well lit as that’s mostly what was available and I’m not loving it. I think I’m mostly worried about the glare from the screen impacting me despite my investment in blue light glasses. My headaches from staring at a computer screen for hours on end have mostly subsided so that’s nice. Today in class we discussed Murray’s idea that writing should be treated as a process, not a product, and Emig’s idea that learning can be achieved through writing. At their basis I find both of these concepts appealing, and true!

So I’ve started considering more how those have played a role in getting me to where I am today. While, on paper, I have all the indications of a more “formal” training when it comes to writing and literature, I think a lot of what I have learned I learned myself (because, full disclosure: I wasn’t really paying much attention in high school [not detrimental because it was easy for me to comprehend], or college attempt 1.0 [detrimental because it was hard and difficult for me to comprehend, it felt like my peers were speaking a second language in my lit classes]), or I took things away from the type of literature I liked reading: the Beat Generation (I know, forgive me), Vonnegut, Tom Robbins, but almost as important, if not more, the influence that punk had on me. Here were people not “formally educated” in the ways of music who were just doing a thing because it felt good and having success within institutions, community, and ideals that they constructed themselves. That has always resonated with me, as someone who has felt, and lived, “out of step” with a lot of societal ideas and expectations for a large majority of my life, and proudly so. But even then, I still have to play the game a bit. Much like punk still had to. It had to give some credence to melody, tuning, structure of songs otherwise it would have just been straight gibberish. Punks may dunk on the Beatles, or Mozart, but they also can’t deny that there’s probably a bit of that in there somewhere. Maybe it’s the same way I view literature. I found the stuffiness of “more formal lit” (there’s at least one former professor who I’m pretty positive carried a large amount of disdain for me given my disdain for things like Moby Dick and whatever other snooze-fest poetry was being shoved down my throat in that class) suffocating and so I rejected it, to my own detriment. Yet, there is value there, which I have learned as I’ve grown older, and as a person, but at the end of the day there’s still a nagging feeling inside me that “shit just doesn’t have to be this way.” I don’t want the boardroom presentation of literature, I want the “gutteral (being of, or derived from, the gutter)” one, the working class one, the relatable one. At the end of the day the best poets I know are the people I know, the best lyricists, the best musicians, the best content creators, because they are attainable, touchable, present. Hell, even the “celebrities” I enjoy engage in rejection of typical celebrity culture, whether or not they actually do that I don’t know, could just be good marketing (looking at you Bruce Springsteen). However, yes, all of those things derive from Shakespeare’s iambic pentameter and the Odyssey, and Beowulf, and even an encyclopedic recounting of the whaling industry parading as an allegory for something more, and on, and on. I get it. But I didn’t (don’t?) like it! All that to say, has my writing style just folded back into itself over and over again in some meta way that my brain can’t understand? Probably. Will I try to understand it? Definitely. It can only benefit me at this point.

Emig, Janet. “Writing as a Mode of Learning.” Cross-Talk in

    Comp Theory, 4th ed., National Council of Teachers of English, 2024.

Murray, Donald M. “Teach Writing as a Process Not Product.” Cross-Talk in

    Comp Theory, 4th ed., National Council of Teachers of English, 2024.

09/09/2025: "What If Something's On TV and It's Never Shown Again?"

Me in the Library, which, outside of my bedroom, had been the only place I was really writing up until this week, however, as I discuss in my process journal, I was growing a little more accustomed to what I was comfortable with from a writing perspective, and as such, found myself venturing out a bit.

Our prompt for this free write was to consider some habits or rituals we participate in during our writing process, and what things that aren't typically considered "writing" are a part of that process.

09/09/2025

Free Write in Literary Composition class

My writing process typically entails me queueing up music that steps outside the parameters of what, historically, I would listen to and associate myself with, in that realm anyway. Having grown up listening to, playing in, and generally enjoying all things punk and hardcore, these are not very conducive (to me, at least) in regards to sitting down and focusing on relaying my thoughts. Typically I will enlist anything from Beethoven to more low-key, singer songwriter types, which, as I’m typing this, I realize are usually women: Rilo Kiley, Waxahatchee, Phoebe Bridgers, Laura Stevenson. Outside of that I will employ bands like the Postal Service or Death Cab for Cutie if I feel like I need a little “pep,” they have a drive behind them but fall under the “quieter” idea of rock music. Outside of that, I have so desperately wanted to be an “outside type” when it comes to reading and writing but.. I really can’t do it. The sunlight inconveniently lights the surface I’m using unless I keep shifting, there’s nowhere really comfortable for me to sit or lean while I try to do it, overall it just becomes a less-than-ideal experience for me, so, instead, I opt for dungeon-like arenas where I am then able to adjust the lighting and my comfort accordingly. At my (current) place of residence I am residing in a basement, so I will usually throw a lamp on, and, if I’m using my computer, make sure the area behind it is lit substantially (but not too bright!). Outside of that I have found the dark, dingy, typically avant-garde coffee house to suit my needs. It helps that I look like I belong there, especially if I’m wearing anything black. I also, unfortunately, will chew an unnecessary amount of nicotine gum and walk around while processing and going over some of my thoughts, either reconfirming what I just wrote isn’t completely unhinged, or considering where my next step in the process is. Then there’s the library on campus, which can be lit a little too well lit for my liking, but it’s convenient, and quiet, and usually there’s a dark corner or two I can situate myself in. I can be easily distracted, even with music playing in my ears, so my phone has to go on do not disturb (which, admittedly, it is on most of the time anyway) and I can’t have too much background noise, literally and metaphorically, to engage my interest while I’m trying to accomplish my writing goals.

Analysis/Reflection:

I’m growing more comfortable with the free writes, as I can see by the length of this one, or maybe it’s just the subject matter I find more appealing (I get to talk about a thing I know a ton about- me). I’ve also grown more comfortable writing in public spaces and, whether consciously or not, seem to have sorted out what really suits me best. I’ve been frequenting a coffee shop called Norma’s in Wappingers, if in part: searching for some semblance of community (I’m 38 years old living in my friends basement for a predetermined amount of time until I, hopefully, finish up this degree and then move back home, so, establishing a community feels a bit herculean, as far as tasks go), but also just enjoy the fact that I’m able to take breaks and glance around at something that isn’t just 4 walls and me by myself sitting on a couch or a bed. Threw on The Lemonheads today while writing this and other stuff, mostly because I’ve had “The Outdoor Type” stuck in my head since my American Renaissance professor is making us go on a hike in the coming days. I love a hike, don’t get me wrong, I just have this very funny image of a bunch of pale, ghastly, bookish people (of which I am one) wandering around outside in nature when, given what I’ve described of my writing/reading style, we’d much rather be in a dark corner somewhere brooding over some bullshit.

Theory Application:

In Elbow's “Closing My Eyes as I Speak: An Argument for Ignoring Audience,” he states "And think how much richer our writing would be if we defined ourselves as inexpert and allowed ourselves private writing for new explorations of those views we are allegedly sure of" (Elbow 53). This point really resonating given in my analyses I say "I get to talk about a thing I know a ton about- me." Firstly, who knows if that's actually true, I think I know myself well, but we're all liable to be a bit off-course in our self assessments, it's human nature. But, more importantly, I state that I'm growing more comfortable with the free writes, and while part of that very well may be the topic being "me-centric" from time to time, the other side of that is: now that I know what free writes are, and that there isn't an expectation to share them, I can fully delve into the arenas I would like and talk about things in the way I normally would, allowing me a freedom I was not accustomed to in academic circumstances, or really any other ones. I don't have to pretend to know what I'm talking about to save face in front of my classmates or instructors during free writes, and as such I get to admit when I don't know things and be more comfortable in that knowledge and acceptance.

Here's the Lemonheads, "The Outdoor Type" off of "Car Button Cloth" which is where I got the title for this post from.

 

Also, here's a little video I took of Norma's, I believe it was the first time I went there to write.

Elbow, Peter. “Closing my eyes as I speak: An argument for ignoring audience.”

    College English, vol. 49, no. 1, 1 Jan. 1987, pp. 50–69,

    https://doi.org/10.58680/ce198711506.

09/02/2025: Ludwig Van Beethoven vs. Punkroutine

 

I forgot that for this week I thought, "Well let's lean in to this whole thing." So, I recorded a video of me getting set up to begin writing the analysis of my free write that we will see at the end of this blog post. 

The prompt for the free write for this class was to describe a vivid memory about writing.

09/02/2025

Free Write in Literary Composition class:

I recall sitting on my bed, bent over a notebook, the smell of sticky late summer wafting in through my windows. I had no air conditioner, just a window fan, so with the downfalls of sweating to death came the benefits of being awoken each morning by the smell of the morning dew, the sounds of cars passing on the street below, a landscaper firing up a weed wacker. I’m 16 years old, and what I’m doing is writing lyrics for, what I can only assume will be, the biggest band in the world, of which I am currently the lead singer. This memory stands out to me in particular because, historically, it felt like I would write in the evenings, with the lights down low, my parents slumbering peacefully in the room adjacent to mine, but this particular morning I woke up inspired. I remember the inspiration as it was derived from another bump in the road in my on-again-off-again high school relationship that I was particularly tore up about, resulting in a lengthy evening to early morning AOL instant messenger argument. I can still see the pages of the red five star notebook I would use (it had been a book for one of my high school classes, but, clearly, this was the more intrepid purpose of it), in my mind they’re mostly crumpled and a little dirty from it bouncing around in backpacks, coming with me on walks, etc.

Analysis/Reflection:

Having grown a little more acclimated to campus and my new (for now) state of existence I found myself spending more time on campus, particularly the library. I took a very hilarious/goofy ass video of me setting myself up in the library which I’ll use for my multimodal essay. I thought I would have a hard time writing in “more public” places having grown accustomed to writing and reading in quieter spaces (my home, or the back office of the barbershop during lunchbreak when everyone leaves for an hour), but just by simply throwing some headphones in and, in this instance, listening to Beethoven I found myself in a good place to write.

Theory Application:

Once again, Elbow's “Closing My Eyes as I Speak: An Argument for Ignoring Audience” comes to mind. When I was younger and writing lyrics, my entire goal was to create something in which people could find a point of relation. As much as I'd like to think that I was simply writing for myself, I was acutely aware of the fact that I wanted people to find commonality in what I was saying so that they would enjoy hearing the music as much as I enjoyed making or playing it. This idea continued on in my life through the advent of social media, where I would express opinions or thoughts on Facebook or Instagram, sometimes to vent my frustrations, other times to find commonality with others in the face of situations I found difficult, enjoyable, or myriad other emotions.

This freewrite also brings “Teach Writing as a Process Not Product,” by Donald M. Murray into the equation, particularly when it comes to my writing lyrics when I was younger, and how that relates to how I composed things throughout my adult life, including this current period back at college. In my lyrical composition I was only ever working off of the finished product of songs I heard from bands that I enjoyed. Much like Murray mentions how students work that they turn in, when based solely off of their knowledge of other writers' finished work, and not being exposed to the process in which those other writers got there, leads to a level of disappointment amongst the student as well as the instructor. I'm not saying that's the only reason my 16-year-old punk rock band didn't become famous, but it definitely led to my writing not being as polished as it could have been, because I had no knowledge of the process itself. This is relevant to myself even by today's standards, as this class has delved into some of those processes, but overall I have not had much exposure to how more renowned, or established, writers compose their work at any period of my life, leading me to occasional feelings of helplessness and disappointment in the work I am producing.

The title for this blog being derived from Refused, "Summerholiday vs. Punkroutine" off of their album "The Shape of Punk to Come." A mind blowing, and inspirational, record to the 16-year-old lyricist referenced above.

Elbow, Peter. “Closing my eyes as I speak: An argument for ignoring audience.” College English, vol. 49, no. 1, 1 Jan. 1987, pp. 50–69, https://doi.org/10.58680/ce198711506.

Murray, Donald M. “Teach Writing as a Process Not Product.” Cross-Talk in Comp Theory, 4th ed., National Council of Teachers of English, 2024.

08/29/25: Don't Worry About Me, I Toured in Punk Bands

 Here's a little snapshot into what my at-home writing situation is like as of August 29th, 2025. I've been fortunate in that my dear friend Zach and his partner Erin have allowed me to stay in their home while I participate in my grand experiment of Marist 2.0. Currently, I reside in their basement, where I brought the mattress and bedframe from my guest room back in Richmond up to Wappinger's Falls so that I had a place to sleep. Also, an important note: the basement is significantly larger than what is pictured here, and I've got my own restroom! So, why am I sharing this image? Well, because I reference it during my progress journal entry, so I figured I'd go full transparency. 

The title of this post being a reference to what I said to Zach and Erin as they, very kindly, continually checked in with me to make sure I was going to be okay. I used to spend weeks sleeping on floors with a sleeping bag and sometimes a pillow, sometimes a rolled up sweatshirt. This is the Ritz-Carlton as far as I'm concerned. 

Finally, the analysis and theory section of this entry are shorter as it was only 3 days after my previous, and I was still early in the semester so there wasn't much writing being done yet. The rest of the entries will be weekly updates so those will be expanded upon a bit more.

The prompt for the free write was for us to compare two texts we had read on the establishment of Composition Studies as a discipline.

08/29/25

Free Write in Literary Composition class:

In “Composition in the University” we are exposed to the historical development and significance of composition studies as it stands in the academic world. A large takeaway from this text is that the field of composition studies didn’t find its footing in academia until much later than one might think, and also that it has had a difficult time being taken as a field worth the resources and devotion of Universities, despite the fact that the skills composition studies develop are desirable across almost all academic fields. In “Where did Composition Studies Come from?” We are taking a deeper dive into the steps taken to develop the field of composition studies, prior to, and even during, its initial expansion across college campuses. While Composition in the University addresses the struggle that academics of the field encountered, and still encounter, while implementing composition studies as part of the academic program, Composition Studies is focused on the various theories behind the development of composition studies as we know it today.

Analysis/Reflection:

Spent this week getting reacclimated with academia as well as the surroundings on campus. I was feeling some discomfort with those surroundings (mostly hinged on my age gap with the students/the feeling that I was imposing on something, I think the kids call that imposter syndrome), so I mostly did my writing from my bed in the basement of my friend’s house which I am staying at.

As a sign off for this post, here's one of my favorite songs about basements. It's not lost on me that I spent years playing shows in basements, to only now be finishing up my academic pursuits while living in one. 

The Menzingers, "After the Party"

"Everybody wants to get famous, but you just want to [finish your degree] in the basement."

08/26/25: Free What?? And 'How is This Going to Work?'

 

Oh look, it's me, in the Marist library. This photo was taken on August 26th. For reasons that are truly inexplicable to me, as I started actually putting this project together, I thought "well, I'll take a selfie every week in the place I'm writing and I can put that in my blog as part of my multimodal project, and that won't be weird at all." Well, past J.R.- it's weird. To my reading public, namely Dr. Wittstock, I apologize for the following posts that will be littered with me awkwardly staring at the camera.

Alright, on to the real stuff.

Each week I would record a "free write" in my Composition Theory class and each week, after class, I would go somewhere and I would assess either the free write, or my week in general, or both. So, while I am including a process journal when I turn in this assignment, for context I'm going to include those free writes here in the blog posts as well. There may be some editing depending on how much I want the internet to know about my inner monologue, but, for the most part, it's going to be the raw unedited versions of those things. Beyond that, I will be making it a point to tie certain theories from class that we discussed into my developments and analyses of my writing in the process journal, although this may not be present in all posts. Make sense? I hope so!

08/26/25

Free Write in Literary Composition Class: My understanding of Composition Studies is that it exists to enhance our abilities as writers, but also as readers in that we can ascertain how certain writers built their texts and ideas. It differs from other fields in that, while it can be argued that the contents of a text is always important, it becomes secondary while we evaluate the manner in which the text was constructed.

Analysis/Reflection:

I’m actually analyzing this first free write way after the fact because I genuinely forgot about doing it, however, I remember this: I had absolutely no idea what a free write was. This was my third class back in school, and I remember Dr. Wittstock gave the prompt and everyone just started typing away. The prompt was, essentially, “What do you think Composition Theory is?” To be honest, I didn’t really have any idea and I was absolutely terrified I was going to have to read this out loud, or turn it in. So I sat there, mostly sweating, staring intently at my computer, and eventually shit out these two sentences as a Hail Mary in case I had to say something.

The good news, I now know what a “free write” is.

Theory Application:

This immediately brings Peter Elbow's "Closing My Eyes as I Speak: An Argument for Ignoring Audience" to mind. Specifically, "... our minds fill with thoughts of what the intended reader will criticize or object to... our writing becomes tangled. Sometimes we get so tied in knots that we cannot even figure out what we think" (Elbow 52). That is the exact scenario I was faced with for this first free write. As I sat and considered how what I was writing would be relayed to my instructor, or my peers, and that I would appear to be uneducated. It caused me to be unable to think of anything to write as I was so focused on what people's interpretation of the writing, and of me, would be.

Elbow, Peter. “Closing my eyes as I speak: An argument for ignoring audience.”

    College English, vol. 49, no. 1, 1 Jan. 1987, pp. 50–69,

    https://doi.org/10.58680/ce198711506.

The Tools: What I'm Employing Now

 

I figured I'd let this post serve as more of an introduction to the tools I've implemented in my writing journey, as they all will make appearances at different times in my weekly discussions, but I'd rather highlight them all in one fell swoop and then reference them as necessary in the posts that follow.

Before embarking on this project one thing I never really considered is what, if anything, I felt was essential to my writing besides a medium to write on/with. As I sat down for the first time to write for this semester, outside of a classroom setting, I found myself in the library at Marist University. I pulled out my laptop. I took out my headphones. I put them in, scrolled my phone for some music that I hoped would be helpful in getting me to focus. Turns out, that was Beethoven. Why? Because I remember hearing about a study once, probably when I was in middle school, that people who studied and wrote while listening to classical music performed better than those who didn't. Considering I had been out of the game for a while, I figured I could use all the help I could get. I put my water bottle on the desk and I started writing. 

Pictured here we have my laptop, which I acquired from Best Buy just before the semester in August of 2025. My previous laptop, a Dell that I had purchased back in 2010, wasn't going to make the cut for this adventure. I went on the Marist University website and they recommended a few different laptops, all of them with a fairly hefty price tag. I figured I'd be better served going somewhere in person and talking to a professional. "Am I a Mac guy? I've got an iPhone." The sales associate at Best Buy, who just so happened to be a Computer Science major, when informed what I needed the laptop for, asked if I was prepared to jump through a variety of hoops to get a Mac to integrate with the things I would need according to Marist's guidelines. "I cut hair for a living, the answer to that is a pretty solid 'no.'" So, he pointed me in the direction of this fair little Lenovo. It had, according to him, a "larger screen than the other ones you're looking at." "Are you telling me this because I'm almost 40?" Was my response. My fiancé laughed. He did not. But, honestly, the larger screen has been helpful (as loathe as I am to admit that). Me and the Lenovo have got a nice little rapport going.

Next to my trusty laptop, we've got my 'Beats Studio Buds,' at least that's what my phone calls them, in that oval shaped grey case. They're in-ear headphones that have a noise cancellation option that is mostly effective, which I employ regularly. I started out being convinced that I simply could not write or think intensely if any other noise besides the one I chose entered my ears during my academic pursuits. Turns out, that wasn't really true, I can just be neurotic for the sake of being neurotic sometimes. We'll touch on this subject a few times in my analyses of my process journal that will come in the posts to follow.

Below that, in the oblong, opaque, I'm going to call it 'teal,' case, we have my blue-light glasses. I don't know if its actual science or not, but, when I first started back at school I had a headache every single day. I had never stared at a screen so much in my life. Everything, from reading to writing, had to be performed while staring at a screen, so my sister, a professional screen starer herself, recommended I buy some. I haven't had a headache since (related to screen staring, anyway). Maybe it's a placebo affect, maybe it's science, I don't really have time to figure that out currently, but the glasses are now an essential part of my process.

On the other side we have my emotional-support-water-bottle. It fits nicely into the side pocket of my backpack and has become a staple in my every day life, in everything that I am doing, of which writing is now a huge part. I often take sips out of it when I'm trying to compose my thoughts or give myself a second to stare off into space because I've thought myself into a corner.

Beneath that is an iced black coffee. This one is not as much of a staple as the others. While I employ everything else every single time, the coffee only really comes in when I know I'm in it for the long haul, or it's very early.  

While I hit the ground running with some of the tools shown here, there has been some developments in all of them in some capacity, which we will be able to admire throughout my following posts.

The Introduction: 08/25/2025

Just a Guy Walking to His First Day of Classes (Do I Always Sound Like This When I Talk?)

After an 18 year hiatus from Marist College, now a University, and a 13 year hiatus from any formal educational pursuits whatsoever, I re-enter academia. I re-enter academia in maybe the most chaotic way I could have ever conceived of, which the people who know me well will say "totally tracks." I move 7 hours away from the place I've built a life for myself, Richmond, Virginia, to complete one final semester at the institution I attended from 17-20(ish) in Poughkeepsie, New York. That Marist 1.0 attempt culminated in me dropping out directly after my 21st birthday in December of 2007 in the midst of, what I believe the youth refer to as, an "epic crashout." 

But, more importantly than all of that, I've made it back. And as I record this video, I have no idea what my writing process is, outside of screaming into the void of the internet via Instagram or Facebook. People often tell me I'm articulate, but who knows what that really even means, or why they're saying it to me. 

Any writing I've done for well over a decade was either for myself, for the internet, or for my job. In absolutely zero of those circumstances did I consider why I was writing what I was writing, and the manner which I was writing, on anything other than a surface level. I only ever recall thinking "who is going to read this and how can I best convey my point to them?" before diving in. 

It's a joke amongst my bosses, co-workers, and friend group, that I have no idea how to send a short communique. If there were no phone numbers attached to our communications, people would know it's me simply from the length alone. I only really edit things as I type them. I usually stop at random points and just go back to the beginning and read everything I wrote, making little corrections along the way. I do that until I get to the end, then I read it one last time and it's sent on its way to wherever it needs to go. I don't really engage with or think about these missives again after that. I've been doing this since Marist 1.0, as far as I remember, anyway.

My notes app on my phone is full of random one-off thoughts. I carried a notebook and pen in my back pocket for a few years when I was considering doing, and then eventually trying my hand at, stand-up comedy. It still finds its way into my pocket every now and then, but the notebook is full of mostly funny thoughts or short bursts of inspiration, nothing really concrete, and most of it probably indecipherable to the general public, as well as myself, depending on how long ago it was written.

So, here I am, walking in to my first day of classes. it's a Monday, and I've got a 100 level intro class, "Introduction to Environmental Issues." Apparently it's a science class for not very science-y people. I fit that bill perfectly. After that is my 400 level English literature seminar on Edgar Allan Poe. Talk about a juxtaposition. In both instances I'm excited, but hesitant. The Science class- because I historically have been terrible at science. The Poe Seminar- because historically I crashed and burned when it came to upper level literature courses, and I'm apprehensive about my ability to read, but more importantly write, at the level I feel I will have to in order to succeed. I'm going to have to relearn a lot of things in a short amount of time. I hope I'm up to the task.

A final acknowledgement is necessary here, during our introduction, and that is to recognize the nod to The Descendents seminal album "Milo Goes to College," which this blog is named after.