09/09/2025: "What If Something's On TV and It's Never Shown Again?"

Me in the Library, which, outside of my bedroom, had been the only place I was really writing up until this week, however, as I discuss in my process journal, I was growing a little more accustomed to what I was comfortable with from a writing perspective, and as such, found myself venturing out a bit.

Our prompt for this free write was to consider some habits or rituals we participate in during our writing process, and what things that aren't typically considered "writing" are a part of that process.

09/09/2025

Free Write in Literary Composition class

My writing process typically entails me queueing up music that steps outside the parameters of what, historically, I would listen to and associate myself with, in that realm anyway. Having grown up listening to, playing in, and generally enjoying all things punk and hardcore, these are not very conducive (to me, at least) in regards to sitting down and focusing on relaying my thoughts. Typically I will enlist anything from Beethoven to more low-key, singer songwriter types, which, as I’m typing this, I realize are usually women: Rilo Kiley, Waxahatchee, Phoebe Bridgers, Laura Stevenson. Outside of that I will employ bands like the Postal Service or Death Cab for Cutie if I feel like I need a little “pep,” they have a drive behind them but fall under the “quieter” idea of rock music. Outside of that, I have so desperately wanted to be an “outside type” when it comes to reading and writing but.. I really can’t do it. The sunlight inconveniently lights the surface I’m using unless I keep shifting, there’s nowhere really comfortable for me to sit or lean while I try to do it, overall it just becomes a less-than-ideal experience for me, so, instead, I opt for dungeon-like arenas where I am then able to adjust the lighting and my comfort accordingly. At my (current) place of residence I am residing in a basement, so I will usually throw a lamp on, and, if I’m using my computer, make sure the area behind it is lit substantially (but not too bright!). Outside of that I have found the dark, dingy, typically avant-garde coffee house to suit my needs. It helps that I look like I belong there, especially if I’m wearing anything black. I also, unfortunately, will chew an unnecessary amount of nicotine gum and walk around while processing and going over some of my thoughts, either reconfirming what I just wrote isn’t completely unhinged, or considering where my next step in the process is. Then there’s the library on campus, which can be lit a little too well lit for my liking, but it’s convenient, and quiet, and usually there’s a dark corner or two I can situate myself in. I can be easily distracted, even with music playing in my ears, so my phone has to go on do not disturb (which, admittedly, it is on most of the time anyway) and I can’t have too much background noise, literally and metaphorically, to engage my interest while I’m trying to accomplish my writing goals.

Analysis/Reflection:

I’m growing more comfortable with the free writes, as I can see by the length of this one, or maybe it’s just the subject matter I find more appealing (I get to talk about a thing I know a ton about- me). I’ve also grown more comfortable writing in public spaces and, whether consciously or not, seem to have sorted out what really suits me best. I’ve been frequenting a coffee shop called Norma’s in Wappingers, if in part: searching for some semblance of community (I’m 38 years old living in my friends basement for a predetermined amount of time until I, hopefully, finish up this degree and then move back home, so, establishing a community feels a bit herculean, as far as tasks go), but also just enjoy the fact that I’m able to take breaks and glance around at something that isn’t just 4 walls and me by myself sitting on a couch or a bed. Threw on The Lemonheads today while writing this and other stuff, mostly because I’ve had “The Outdoor Type” stuck in my head since my American Renaissance professor is making us go on a hike in the coming days. I love a hike, don’t get me wrong, I just have this very funny image of a bunch of pale, ghastly, bookish people (of which I am one) wandering around outside in nature when, given what I’ve described of my writing/reading style, we’d much rather be in a dark corner somewhere brooding over some bullshit.

Theory Application:

In Elbow's “Closing My Eyes as I Speak: An Argument for Ignoring Audience,” he states "And think how much richer our writing would be if we defined ourselves as inexpert and allowed ourselves private writing for new explorations of those views we are allegedly sure of" (Elbow 53). This point really resonating given in my analyses I say "I get to talk about a thing I know a ton about- me." Firstly, who knows if that's actually true, I think I know myself well, but we're all liable to be a bit off-course in our self assessments, it's human nature. But, more importantly, I state that I'm growing more comfortable with the free writes, and while part of that very well may be the topic being "me-centric" from time to time, the other side of that is: now that I know what free writes are, and that there isn't an expectation to share them, I can fully delve into the arenas I would like and talk about things in the way I normally would, allowing me a freedom I was not accustomed to in academic circumstances, or really any other ones. I don't have to pretend to know what I'm talking about to save face in front of my classmates or instructors during free writes, and as such I get to admit when I don't know things and be more comfortable in that knowledge and acceptance.

Here's the Lemonheads, "The Outdoor Type" off of "Car Button Cloth" which is where I got the title for this post from.

 

Also, here's a little video I took of Norma's, I believe it was the first time I went there to write.

Elbow, Peter. “Closing my eyes as I speak: An argument for ignoring audience.”

    College English, vol. 49, no. 1, 1 Jan. 1987, pp. 50–69,

    https://doi.org/10.58680/ce198711506.